7 Sneaky Beliefs Holding You Back As A Speaker (& How To Reframe Them)
When I first started out as a Public Speaking Coach I was afraid no-one would want to hire me because I wasn’t a natural born speaker. 😬
Thankfully, one chance conversation made me realise this was SO wrong.
So, in today’s Newsletter I wanted to talk about imposter syndrome, the 7 key limiting beliefs that show up time and time again in the world of public speaking and how to reframe them.
I was painfully shy as a child. I’d really struggled with nerves. I wasn’t a natural storyteller. I wasn’t outgoing.
i.e. It had to fight my way (so to speak) to get where I was at.
So of course this played on my mind in the early days of building my biz.
I was worried potential clients would be put off. That they’d only want to work with people that were naturally confident, outgoing etc.
It meant that I didn’t feel confident. I held back sharing all of my background. I played small. I didn’t go for what I wanted.
But a conversation with another coach changed all that.
They’d never struggled with nerves or had to teach themselves the art of storytelling. It had always come naturally to them.
Naturally, I was in awe of them (and other coaches like that).
Yet on a Zoom call in the pandemic, they asked me:
“Would be happy to share your Storytelling Frameworks if I paid you?”
Because, whilst it came naturally to them, they struggled to teachother people how to tell stories. 😅
What I realised in that moment was this:
The very thing I was ashamed of (that i’d struggled with nerves and storytelling initially) was EXACTLY what made me a great coach.
I was great at teaching other people how to learn the art of presenting and storytelling, because I’d had to start from zero myself. I’d had to learn it step by step and I’d compiled detailed instructions of what worked for me and what didn’t work and I was able to share the exact process, along with tips and lessons from my journey.
It’s safe to say that after that conversation, so much changed! 🥰
I stopped comparing myself to other coaches and thinking they were “better than me”.
Which helped me show up more confidently and accelerate the growth in my biz.
Whilst my story may be unique to me, I know a lot of people struggle with some sort of limiting beliefs when it comes to presenting.
That’s why in my signature The Powerful Presenter™ (TPP) Program, we have a whole week dedicated to unpacking and addressing limiting beliefs.
This week inside TPP is called ‘Magnetic Mindset’.
It really shifts people’s perspectives, which directly impacts how they show up. Just like it did for me.
So, I thought i’d share the 7 most common limiting beliefs (relating to presenting) that come up and how you can reframe them.
To show up more confidently, speak up more often and say yes to more speaking gigs! 💥
Here they are…..
#1 – “I’M NOT EXPERIENCED ENOUGH”
I hear this one a lot.
But don’t let it hold you back.
Why? Sometimes the best ideas come from those with the least experience!
– Fresh perspectives spark curiosity
– Experience ≠ value, insight does
– Diversity of thought is powerful
Therefore the reframe 🔁 here should be:
I’m Not Experienced Enough → I Bring An Interesting Perspective
#2 – “I HAVE NOTHING INTERESTING TO SAY”
Ah excuse me!?
Everyone has something interesting to say/share. I can vouch for this.
You just might not have found it yet, or noticed it from that perspective.
Never underestimate the interesting combination of experiences you have. That no-one else has lived through.
– What’s obvious to you may be new to others
– Your story is unique
– Sometimes the best ideas are insanely simple
As a result, the reframe 🔁 here should be:
I Have Nothing Interesting To Say → Everyone Has Insights To Share
#3 – “I WON’T BE ABLE TO ANSWER ALL Q’S”
Well, there’s good news here.
Nobody in the world knows everything. It’s important to remember that.
– Questions are asked out of curiosity, not as a setup
– It’s OK to say “Let me get back to you”
– No one knows everything — even experts
Also, one way to reduce the amount of curve-ball questions you might get is to qualify your level / depth / breadth of experience at the start, well before you get to any Q&A. If it’s appropriate to do that of course. In a Conference it would be, but in a Board room it probably wouldn’t!
However, the reframe 🔁 here should be:
I Won’t Be Able To Answer All Q’s → I Don’t Need To Have All The Answers
#4 – IF I GET NERVOUS PEOPLE WILL JUDGE ME
This one comes up a lot.
But one of the most important things to remember is this:
People aren’t as focused on you as YOU think they are. Generally they’re way more tied up with their own problems.
Am I right!?
– Most people get nervous when speaking
– People will admire your courage, not your perfection
– The less you care about nerves, the less nervous you’ll be!
Therefore the reframe 🔁 here should be:
If I Get Nervous People Will Judge Me → People want me to succeed
#5 – “I’M NOT A NATURAL SPEAKER”
Nor do you need to be!
Your mark of success as a speaker shouldn’t be how confident you are.
It should be whether you give your audience a gift.
Because, you’re there to share what you know, not to perform like a pop-star on stage!
– Clarity in audience’s mind > confidence in speaker’s mind
– Impact comes from your message, not from how confident you are
– Speaking is a skill, not something you must be born with
So, the reframe 🔁 here should be:
I’m Not A Natural Speaker → My Job Is To Influence, Not Entertain
#6 – “I’M NOT POLISHED ENOUGH”
Well, that can actually be a good thing!
In a sea of same-same speakers—authenticity can help you stand out and be remembered.
Some of the best speakers I’ve seen were great because they were brave enough to stand out as individuals, or to be vulnerable with us.
I’m personally feel hella awkward sometimes! 🤪 But i’ve learnt that’s just me. It aint gonna change. So people can like it or leave it.
– Authenticity builds trust
– Polished can feel robotic
– Realness makes you relatable
Therefore, the reframe 🔁 here should be:
I’m Not Polished Enough → People Love Authentic & Real Speakers
#7 – “MY ACCENT IS TOO STRONG”
Generally when people come to me with this concern, their accent is actually not the problem. They are able to be understood perfectly well. It’s just that they ‘think’ others have an issue with their accent.
What matters most is your message. If it’s clear, people will tune in.
– An accent makes it interesting
– Audiences are diverse too
– Body language is universal ☺️
So, the reframe here should be:
My Accent Is Too Strong → It’s Ok, People Can Still Understand Me
Or it could also be: “My accent makes me more interesting!”
HOT TIP: If you don’t agree with some of these reframes, try playing devil’s advocate and see if you can come up with 10 reasons why they might be correct. If you’re still not feeling them (i.e. they don’t quite resonate) just come up with one of your own!
IN SUMMARY
Next time you’re second guessing yourself when it comes to speaking, try one of these reframes. Or, come up with one of your own.
A simple change in mindset can have a big impact on the way you show up.
Which will help you to speak up, or say yes to that speaking gig. 😁
Q – What’s your most common limiting belief (around speaking)? Is it one of these, or something else?
Cheers,
Emily
Hey, I’m Emily Edgeley, a Public Speaking Coach for the Tech industry.
Since 2017 I’ve transformed the lives of thousands, by helping them to communicate with more power. I’ve run 300+ group coaching sessions, coached more than 250 people privately, and helped more than 100+ others give their first ever Conf talk.
I’m on a mission to help anyone in Tech communicate with more clarity, impact and confidence. To boost their brand, career and influence.
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